travelling through FingerSpace, follow these important guidelines;
When approaching lightspeed, be careful
not to put your hands behind you in case you touch yourself and go pop.
Use of Zero Gravity to create obstacle
courses for your urine stream ist verboten. This includes throwing tennis
balls through the urine stream of your compadrés as they widdle
into the prescribed space bogs.
Does anyone remember the game for the Commodore
64 called The Eidolon? It was great. Three eggcups sang "Oh Mr Sandman"
to you. Dragons and everything. Cool.
While I'm about it, can you sort something
out for me? I distinctly remember a character called the "Naughty Torty".
The idea behind the Naughty Torty was that he was a six foot tall tortoise
who walked into a crowd of children and vomited on them. His keeper, a
man with a tortoise training whip, would then run on, shouting "No! Naughty
Torty!". He would then usher the tortoise, who was still holding his tummy
and looking rather poorly, off stage. Did this really happen? Or did I
make it up and believe myself?
Oh yeah - don't flush the toilet. Due to
a wiring problem, the lever that looks like it should flush the toilet
actually releases purple knockout gas. God knows where the lever that actually
flushes the toilet is. Or, indeed, what purple knockout gas is doing on
board a passenger flight to Venus.
Naughty Torty dilemma solved! According to Josie
Rogers and S D Birks, he appeared on Saturday Morning TV Show "What's Up
Doc?" with Andy Crane and the bloke from the Twix adverts, who apparently
had a profound love of cheese. And do you know what he vomited on the children?
That's right! It was ghee! All you've got to remember now is the singing eggcups
from The Eidolon and my history will be complete..
These pages are sponsored by Julian
and Sandy, the Alien Fingers from Pluto. They wish you a nice space day.
That's the equivalent of three Earth days, and is therefore exceptionally