I use a website called OUTintheUK. It's kinda gay. Well, it is gay. It's a gay website. It distinguishes itself from Gaydar (the one that MP used, remember? That gay MP? It's what gay MPs do now rather than strangle themselves on oranges) - it distinguishes itself from Gaydar, then, by not focussing so heavily on fisting each other's poos out. It's good when you want harmless schoolgirl natter and fierce hissy fits concerning the proper use of the apostrophe, rather than "lube the kettle, I'll be around in ten minutes".

I have a number of good friends on there, so it seemed entirely appropriate to set it up on OUT's events calendar. The event seemed quite popular. There arose only two concerns. Was it violent, and was it an immoral waste of food? I got around these concerns by giggling into my palm and thinking we're going to throw sausages at David Blaine.

My brain was already racing through throw / sausage couplets, and I had, amongst others, Chuck a Chipolata, Hoy a Savaloi, Sling a Cumberland Ring, and of course, Wang A Banger. And I swore to myself that I would never say these things out loud.


Extracts from today's OUT feedback... (bold is me)

- This is a serious event. I am deadly serious. We are going to throw sausages at David Blaine.
- Can someone throw some on my behalf, I'll be lying on the beach in gran canaria
- Can't you come back to throw a sausage? It wouldn't take long. It's just a sausage.
- Why sausages? Wouldn't bricks be more appropriate?
- I have a bag of kwik-save sausages (unwanted gift) that I would be happy to share with other OUTers. What's the etiquette here regarding defrosting? Do I *have* to?
- this is possibly the best idea for an event i've ever heard.
- I'll try to come but I'm moving that weekend.
- As long as you mean you're moving a sausage closer to David Blaine than it previously was, then that's fine by me.

Feeling slightly vindicated by the interest, I went to bed, and had a wicked dream which involved everyone taking off loads of masks and running around in mist.

September 10...