|The Free-Style Disco-Slap
1. This is the hardest dance of all.
Soften up your bones before you begin by waving your arms in the air for
2. Jump high into the air, landing backwards. As you hit the floor,
collapse into a foetal shell. Explode from this shell landing some
distance away, facing the right way round again.
3. Are you smiling? If not, start smiling now.
4. Run so fast into the wall that you start running up it - you will
have seen Take That and Kurt Russell doing this in the movies. The trick
is to go as fast as you can, then you will start going up the wall.
5. Once up the wall, if you are going fast enough, you might be able to
get on the ceiling. You will have seen Lionel Richie doing this. He is a
very fast runner. When on the ceiling, jump around and hold your nose,
as though you are underwater. To get down from the ceiling, think sad
6. Back on the floor, run around like you are a pinball - bump into
things and go "ching!". This can irritate grumpy teachers, so
keep it to music lessons, where they will know what you are doing.
7. Congratulations! You have just danced the Free-Style Disco-Slap, the
hardest dance there is!