beer at the speed of the internet
(around 4k per second on a 56k beer modem)
A beer that is somehow brewed made entirely around the body of Vanessa Feltz, without her even knowing it. Surely it's magic? Not according to the brewer, who claims that only traditional English methods were used. The hops are mashed in her hair as she sleeps, and the rich, chocolatey malts are slipped into her cleavage, where the next morning hot shower water will begin the process of fermentation. Piping along the flesh chunnels and landing with a plop in her Top Shop pop socks, these socks are stolen the same night by trained Grebes, more hops are put in her hair, and the process begins again.
Why tiny? Vanessa Feltz' feet taper away to soggy little pegs!