Have you ever shat yourself? Done a poo in your knick-knicks? Out of sheer coincidence, I had two conversations on the ol' MSN Messenger with friends who have done just that. Bizarrely, they then gave me their permission to put these stories up here. So read them, and enjoy. They will make you feel better about yourself.

9. JIM'S MONOLOGUE (14.4.04)
Jim's pre-written tale of delayed bum-dubbins is a charming soliloquy to young love.

8. RICHARD'S STORY (26.02.03)
Richard's story may well contain a man standing semi-nude and covered in shit in front of his son.

7. PINKLE'S STORY (20.10.02)
Pinkle is a girl. But that doesn't stop her blopping herself over a period of many, many hours.

6. DANIAL'S STORY (15.10.02)
Danial's story holds the current record for number of unique expulsions. Truly a gentleman of standing.

5. DANIEL'S STORY (13.11.02)
Daniel's story contains parasites and short trousers.

4. BEN'S STORY (22.10.02)
Be warned : Ben's story contains acts that some people may find saucy

3. RONNIE'S STORY (21.10.02)
Ronnie's story contains balls, bats, and the word "mufti"

2. SPECKY'S STORY (19.10.02)
Specky's story contains some sexy action and banjo-twanging

1. PHIL'S STORY (12.10.02)
Phil's story contains scenes of driving and some clenching



Got a tiny story about shitting yourself? Too shy to chat to me? Send your stories to the address below, and they will be considered for inclusion in....

Daniel Anus's Little Smear Round-Up

If you have a story of soiling your Reg Grundies, email your Instant Messaging details (any will do) to log@ disappointment.com, or just add smearmadam@hotmail.com to your Messenger.

Don't email me the story unless it's for my nephew Daniel's Little Smear Round-Up.