Emeagwali, standing in front of the
blackboard on which he invented brown lasers. |
SCIENCES OF THE EVERYWHERE #1
THE MOST SCIENTIFIC MAN IN THE WORLD
This is Emeagwali. He is the most scientific man
in the world. He's fist-bitched Alan Turing into next Wednesday,
and has fwapped his finger over the lips of Stephen Hawking, saying
"Aw, what's the matter? Too scientific for ya?"
Emeagwali claims to be so scientific that after
jogging around the block, he'll wipe his sweaty forehead, and there'll
be equations on the handkerchief. And every equation points
to the same, inevitable conclusion. Where x = Emeagwali, Emeagwali
is number one.
He is married to a lady, who is also a scientist.
"She wasn't a scientist when I met her, but the first time
we made love, after my teeth clanked and the LEDs in my pupils lit
up, and ticker-tape came out of my mouth. When we read that ticker-tape,
it was an honorary degree from the University of Science, awarded
to my wife! Do you want to see Emeagwali ejaculate? Do
not cower from the spunk-face of science.
To see exactly how scientific Emeagwali is, you
may visit his
website, where he tells you in no uncertain terms how scientific
he is, you unbelieving motherfucker. You see? He really,